Ceramic Flower Succulent Teal 11

Ceramic Flower Succulent Teal 11When my mother announced she'd discovered wall plants that never die, I assumed she'd finally cracked. She'd been spending too much time on those craft websites where middle aged women turn mason jars into chandeliers and convince themselves that drinking straws can be repurposed as modern art. But then this perfect gift box arrived, looking like a rainbow had gotten into a fight with a cardboard factory and lost. Inside, perched like some sort of

as if it's some sort of floral escape artist ready to hang itself at a moment's notice

because your plant collection deserves a heartthrob

with your fancy wall art decor

I half expected the neighbors to stage an intervention

and absolutely perfect

which is convenient because I can cradle it and pretend I'm some sort of botanist-turned-art-critic

This wasn't your run-of-the-mill fake floral arrangement

You've been punk'd by photosynthesis

"It looks like something a mermaid would wear to a funeral

it doesn't wilt

Every time I glance at it

Then we decided to sell it with 3 feet of water proof rope so that it can be hung in any environment